Saturday, 6 October 2012
I got dem post-chemotherapy blues
Okay, I was a tad premature in my 'the spots are on their way out' jubilation. They're back, and whilst they don't have quite the full force of before I think it's an uphill struggle for the antibiotics to keep my skin under control. My chest and back represent the worse kind of pizza skin (thank god for scarves) and are ludicrously itchy. There are spots all across my nose, chin, around my hairline and even on my eyes plus my skin is dry and flaky and feels constantly tight and sore.
I also have ulcers inside my mouth and on my lips, nosebleeds, a tummy upset, horrific acid indigestion and I am probably feeling a bit sorry for myself. I keep trying to remember that I am getting away quite lightly with this whole chemo business. I've been in work every day this week - and been busy - and managing not to be sick once (okay I was sick this morning). I am also lucky in that my mum has turned into Mary Poppins and provides a cooked meal every evening and empties potties and ushers children around during the post-chemo week. Al puts up with a lot and takes over the minute he gets home. But all of that aside this isn't the most fun thing I've experienced. And I am not sure I am the most fun person to be around a lot of the time.
Lance Armstrong called his dog Chemo because chemotherapy saved his life. I am hopeful it'll save mine too but as dog names go I have more pleasant (and non-drug related) memories that I'd like to draw upon. He could have called his puppy Steroid - that would've been an interesting choice...
In a more positive minded way I am also holding onto the fact that life gets better for me from the weekend; when the worst of the post-chemo symtoms are abating and by Thursday I'm actually feeling pretty good. Just in time for my next dose. But I will get a few days of feeling good and energetic and without a sore mouth - the ulcers and the spots are actually a pretty debilitating combo.
So for now admire my stoic bravery from a distance - it's not that pretty or that stoic close up, just ask the rest of Sylvan Way...